Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thinking of Having Kids?Do this 11 step program first!
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.Time allowed for this - all morning.
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Monday, March 24, 2008
On Easter Sunday we also celebrated my granddad's 86th birthday. (Top to bottom, left to right: Poppie & his cake; Poppie, Phil, & Wilson blowing bubbles; Wilson; Wilson & Granna finding Easter eggs; John, Phil, & Wilson putting together some puzzles.)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Last night Phil and Wilson took advatage of the bad weather rolling in and went to the park to try out Wilson's new Buzz Lightyear kite. From what I hear, it went to infinity and beyond.
Miller is proudly showing off her first barrette/bow! I "fixed" the color in the last one to get a true white on her shirt- it made her skin kind of blotchy, but if you click on the picture to enlarge, you can see how red her hair is getting.
And here she is doing her impersonation of her Whoozit (the toy hanging on the car seat).
Monday, March 17, 2008
We had a rare treat this weekend. Phil's Uncle Bruce was in town for the day and he and Phil's grandparents had dinner with us Saturday night. Here are some photo highlights as well as video of the boys wrestling. Papa attempted to get in on the action a little by trying to tickle Wilson, but he settled for singing Jesus Loves Me to him later while Nanny accompanied him on the piano. (Unfortunately you can't see Wilson because he was still wound up from the wrestling and is rolling around on the floor and the microphone on my camera only picked up on the end of the song, the rest was over shadowed by Bruce's riveting discussion of vertebrae . . .)
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
He played with his dump truck in the freezing cold while still managing to look super cool
He's really gotten into this little Lego Duplo train this week. One morning he started chattering about a tanker that he'd built and I was kind of only half listening. He finally got me into the playroom to show me the cutest tanker ever built. He'd gotten an old milk container, laid it on its side and began imagining it was a train tanker car. Later that afternoon he hooked his battery operated dinosaur to the train and had it pulling the whole thing around the house. What a guy!
This bird has discovered the window in our bathroom and for the past 4 days has repeatedly thrown himself at the glass ALL DAY LONG! You can imagine the fun this is for Jack. Fortunately we intend to remove the wallpaper in the bathroom- he has begun the scoring process on that wall as he makes vertical leaps towards the window in an attempt to catch the bird. Our only reprieve is a squirrel and a flock of wrens. The squirrel periodically naps in the holly tree outside the window and keeps the robin away and the wrens come to snack on the berries still growing there and apparently are some sort of threat to the red breasted one.
. . . . . .
Jack is apparently suffering from the even greater lack of attention he's receiving due to our newest addition. His latest tactic in trying to get our love is to steal our children's beds.
Jack, busted, hanging out in Miller's playplace
Now, he's been found in Wilson's sleeping bag with Lion, Rocko, and Silky Soft
(the white fuzzy thing at the bottom of the photo is HIS BED!!)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
This was taken yesterday afternoon after having her 2 month check up. She had to have her shots and was very pitiful that afternoon. I was an awful mamma and forgot to have infant Tylenol on hand. Thankfully Big Daddy came to rescue and went and got us some (I am currently unable to take both children anywhere easily due to the temporary loss of my right hand in a cooking accident- more on that in another post!) She was just laying there kind of whimpering, but as soon as you'd talk to her or smile at her, she'd smile right back. She is really a different baby these days- much, much more content. There are actually times that Phil or I have had her with us and forgotten. We'll remember she's around and assume she's gone to sleep because she's so quiet, but then you'll look over and she's just happily laying or sitting and entertaining herself with her hands or other deep thoughts. She desperately wants to suck her thumb, but most attempts at getting the fingers in the mouth wind up with fingers in the eye. She is absolutely in love with the bugs in her play place and appears to be reaching out to them and playing with them when she gets her hands on them- too much fun! So, she came in yesterday at almost 12 pounds and a little over 23 inches long- 75% all around. The doctor gave her "a 100, A+ all the way around" and "no need to go see the GI specialist anymore"- which reminds me, I need to cancel that appointment. Yea, Baby Miller! (She is also beginning to show a preference for "Millie"- she smiles real big when you say that instead of Miller.) Oh, and her hair is turning very red- very similar to the color of Wilson's when he was born.