Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ
2 Peter 3:18

Friday, June 13, 2008

Here We Go Again. . .

I just got out of the shower. When I first got in I was running my hair under the water thinking this is nice. One kiddo is napping, the other is playing, I'm getting a shower- in the morning. And then I suddenly realized, something is missing. I was pretty anxious about this shower and had a nagging need to hurry up and get in the shower while said kiddos were occupied. Why was I in such a hurry . . . what have I forgotten . . . was there somewhere I was supposed to be? No . . . someone else is supposed to be in here! Jack is supposed to be getting a bath.

Why, you might ask, is it worth ruining the perfect shower scenario with a dog, how dirty could he be?

He could be covered in ashes and squirrel blood- that's how dirty he could be.

I ran out and called him into the shower for his bath.

Earlier this morning I was dressing Miller in her room and heard a bit of a commotion downstairs. This was the distinct commotion of Jack "finding something". Honestly I thought the something was probably in our yard, so I ran downstairs to save our blinds from his excitement. I hit the bottom stair only to see him doing an all too familiar dance in the fireplace. Not 15 minutes later out came a small rodent. It was stunned and so was Jack. Jack quickly recovered and went after it. The last thing I heard as I ran screaming was the crunching of bones. Ahhhhhhh

I tried to call Phil, but he couldn't get to his phone. So, I looked out the window and saw that both cars at our sweet new neighbor's house were both there. Fortunately they are also friends from church, so I didn't mind calling at 7:30 in the morning for help. They also are partners in our quest against the squirrel world. I'm not sure if Will and Phil spend more time shooting squirrels or doing yard work. But I do know that Will was in his driveway sporting a bathrobe and cheering Phil on yesterday morning as Phil picked yet another one off on his way to work! So Will's sweet wife sends him down to save us from the dead vermin in my den. They have now been bumped up to REALLY good friends because Will has seen me in my pajamas with no makeup on. But that's okay, because I've seen him running like a mad man down the street wielding a broom, golf club, and pellet gun. We're even. He came prepared to inflict blunt force trauma, take a clean shot through my living room, and/or takle any wiley dust bunnies under my sofa. I honestly couldn't be more thrilled. I had not even put my contacts in yet, so I wasn't really sure if we had a baby squirrel, rat, or chipmunk, but I did know that there was blood- Wilson had been running back and forth between the den and my bedroom to give me updates. Will scooped up the baby squirrel carcass with his golf club and I held out a Kroger bag with my eyes closed. He left with his arsenal and the bagged corpse after checking the chimney for any siblings still hanging on. So, I was left with the dog still hopping around in the fireplace (I'm pretty sure there's still something else up there) and a small pool of blood on the floor. Anyone know the correct home cleaning products for removing squirrel blood from stained concrete? I chose antibacterial Windex and Clorox Anywhere.
Will, I'm not sure if Hallmark has a "Thank you, neighbor, for saving us from the wildlife that fell out of our chimney and was subsequently killed by our dog" section, but if they do, I'll be sending you a card. Just in case they don't:

Jack, less than thrilled about being hauled into the shower. I told him we take a bath after we murder, it's sort of house rule, but that didn't help his feelings a bit.


Anonymous said...


The Segrest Family said...

you make me laugh out loud maggie! HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! i love it.
you really should write a column or something - you have the talent!